Everybody's 'Favorite' Clam?
by The Cosmic Penguin
Summary: 10 of Moe's pet peeves that never got noticed, including burnt dumplings, Konk, and the ever-elusive videogame messer. Never goes as far as making fun of Moe because he's awesome. (Completed: 2/14/13)


The Worst of Moe

A/N: I know what you're thinking. It's something along the lines of one of these choices:

1. Awesome! I hate sub characters! *is shot and mauled*

2. You cheap little freak! Don't you recognize Moe's awesomeness?!

3. One of your Humor/Parody stories=better than Hurt/Comfort oneshots! And I know that you don't really hate Moe, so don't worry.

I'm hoping that it's something along the lines of choice 3.

The first one will be much less humor-ous as the others; more along the lines of friendship (mainly because it was written when I was going to make this a chaptered fic but then realized it wouldn't work out). But none of these ever go as far as to make fun of Moe. Never.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any awesome characters like Moe, Bunston, Starfy, Ogura, or the thousand-and-some other characters that I like. I don't own the games, either. I just own the IDEAS! Aren't they awesome? *cheesecaked*

Enjoy!

* * *

1. Mine Carts

BANG! CRASH!

The mine cart jerked and rattled down yet another of the tracks in Glitzem Grotto, famous for gems, mining, and its infamous old-fashioned transportation system. Of course, only the brave-and the physically fit-could ride in the carts. After all, the system had various gaps, water switches, and double tracks in it. These were just a few of the reasons that Moe didn't like it.

Of course, it wasn't exactly like there was another mode of transportation in these tunnels. Besides walking, that is.

Given the choice between walking and riding, Moe chose riding. But not by much.

"Ow! Starf, please, slow down! I won't be able to stand it anymore!"

"Come on, Starfy! Please go faster!"

But this obviously wouldn't work with Bunston cheering for Starfy to go faster. And he had to admit, he had a soft spot for Bunston. So Moe said no more against it, closed his eyes, and hoped for the ride to be over. Quickly.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The cart spun around a corner, flew up and over a hill, and did a quick spin on two wheels when it landed. After some easy going on straight tracks, the cart climbed up another hill and launched off onto a different track system. Moe ignored the screeching of the cart wheels, the happy shrieking of his two friends, and the clicking of his own shell and tried to forget that he was on this crazy rollercoaster-like thing without a seatbelt to keep him from falling out on one of the many curves or hills.

This thinking worked-until the cart swung around yet another corner and he almost fell out.

Lucky for Moe, Bunston and Starfy grabbed onto him before that could happen.

Even more fortunately for Moe, his two friends kept a firm grip on him-

-until they reached the end of the track and the cart split into pieces, sending the three riders flying.

SMACK! CRASH!

"OW!"

Starfy landed first, but he hadn't flown very far or hit very hard. He looked dazed and slightly bruised, but otherwise okay.

Bunston had been flung a little farther than Starfy, but his space suit protected him from most of the hard ground. Hopefully he hadn't hit his head again…

Moe, unfortunately, had flown farthest, and had smacked top-shell first into a particularly large crystal that had jutted out of the floor. With a groan, he fell off of it, knocked out.

This was already an experience he wanted to forget, and he had only been on three of these things…

And there was already another one waiting for him once he came to.

Joy.

At least he had another great motive for finishing the darned world and moving on.

* * *

2. Messing with his Video Games

"You think Moe will mind us playing with his video games?"

"Why would he?"

"Well, I think it would be nicer if we asked…"

"C'mon, Purple, he'll never know! And besides, we'll have to wait forever for him to get back."

"Wellll…okay, Green."

"Here, hold these for me…"

THREE HOURS LATER

"Git 'im! Git 'im! AGH! Not again!"

"Why don't you try another game?"

"I will in just a moment. Mind getting me something to drink?"

"No problem."

"Thanks…gah! Stupid phantom…Whatever."

"Green, shouldn't you wipe your shell before touching the cartridges? You'll get them all dirty!"

"Chill Purple, Moe won't notice. I won't get them dirty, I promise."

TWO MORE HOURS LATER

"I've put Red to bed; we should go to sleep soon, too. Don't forget to put those back in their cases."

"I won't."

WHEN MOE RETURNS HOME

"GUYS! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VIDEO GAMES?!"

* * *

3. Unhidden Diary

Moe was sitting outside Pufftop Castle, hoping to catch a few moments of peace and quiet before heading back to his house to take care of his siblings. Unfortunately, this was not meant to be.

A surprise visitor came and interrupted our favorite yellow clam; this time in the form of an adorable blue shellfish inside a spinning fortress (-cannot ignore adorable little Konk-). Moe backed up a small distance.

"Konk! What're you doin' here?!"

Aforementioned blue shellfish smirked.

"Oh, I just KONK wanted to return this to KONK you. Though I'm not entirely KONK sure that it would be the most KONK beneficial to you…KONK! Haha!"

Konk tossed Moe a book that looked as if it was about to fall apart.

"Oh, and by the KONK way, if either one of us KONK were to get Ruby, she'd definitely KONK pick me first! See ya, lover boy!"

The yellow clam caught the ragged book, now realizing what it was.

"My journal…darn it…"

* * *

4. Villains

There were many things on this adventure that Moe hadn't expected but somewhat expected. There were many things on this adventure that Moe HAD expected.

And, of course, there were some things on this adventure that Moe did not expect at all, these things usually coming in the form of boss encounters.

**HOT SPRING SNAPPER**

"NOT MAD! NOT MAD! CLAMBAKE! CLAMBAKE!"

"ROLL THE CREDITS! HURRYYYYYYY!"

"EAT MOE! EAT MOE!"

**THE TERRIBLE TRIO**

"I'm leader! My symbol can beat yours, Snips!"

"Excuse me? I believe that MY element and my shield can beat you, Ronk!"

"I could say the same for you, Papes, except I already have a better shield and a bag full of explosives, not to mention teleporting powers. If you take away our elements, who do you think has the most authority in this group?"

"Um…you?"

"Yes. Correct. And why do you suppose that is?"

"Because you're a girl?"

**MASHTOOTH**

Moe stared at the massive amount of glass bottles around Mashtooth.

"Pssstt…um Starfy…"

Starfy turned his head to look at his best friend for a moment.

"Please tell me that those glass bottles don't contain what I think they do."

The starfish prince shot him another glance; then shrugged.

"Rated E for Everyone."

* * *

5. Out-of-Reach Treasure

Moe sat underwater in the freezing cold of Chillydip Cove. He had spent nearly an hour trying to get into a crack in the wall that was a lot harder to break than he thought it would be. His treasure detector was going off crazily, further agitating (and annoying) him.

Suddenly, a white and blue blur shot over his head. The yellow clam ducked down as a huge icicle spear crashed into the wall that he had been trying to beat down and completely annihilated it, making the treasure that cost him so much agony reachable. And it had only taken Starpedo five seconds.

Moe fainted. Again.

"Moe? You okay?"

* * *

6. Burnt Dumplings

_Hey, Clammy,_

_I had some unusable dumplings. Want 'em? _

_Starly, Princess of Pufftop_

"That Starly…she has no respect for me…and 'unusable'? What fo—burn-STARLY! THAT WAS A CHEAP TRICK!"

_PS: It's the thought that counts, right?_

* * *

7. Konk/Ruby

_"I'm sorry, Moe…but…my true love is Konk."_

_"KONK! Heh, thanks for KONK breaking the ice, Ruby."_

_At this, Konk sneered at Moe while Ruby wasn't looking._

_"On the other KONK hand, I'm helping KONK Miss Ruby with her KONK shopping. See ya 'round."_

_Moe watched the two walk away._

_"Ruby…oh, wh—"_

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOE! Purple's being annoying!"

"Green is making a mess!"

Moe slowly blinked as he woke up from a restless night's sleep. Not only had he been tortured in his dreams, he was going to be tortured when he woke up. Great.

"I'm coming…"

* * *

8. Sticky Shell

A once-again-very-annoyed Moe tried to bounce to the bathroom without looking where he was going. The reason? His siblings—or someone—had glued his shell shut overnight. He knew that he had some Goo-B-Gone in the bathroom closet, but he had to go down a flight of stairs in order to get to it.

The stairs were right about in front of him. Right about…right about…

Moe tripped on a bump (which had taken the form of a rolled-up Star Trek poster) just before the stairs and, of course, tumbled topshell over bottomshell down them all before landing on what would be his face, causing certain parts of his shell to be released from the hold of the glue due to the impact force. Our favorite yellow clam, unfortunately, wasn't awake to notice that.

ONE HOUR LATER

Green yawned.

"Hey Moe? Moe…Moe, where are you?"

Green started hopping down the stairs when—

"Moe? What the-OW!"

* * *

9. Contract Issues

Things were not going well for the Moe Show. Shurikit's ninja kitties were running everywhere, Kittana was practicing his teleporting –meaning that the floor was being covered in cat hair, fish bones, and smoke-,Ronk was alternating between punching the floor and punching somebody random (mainly Papes), Snips was banging her head against the wall, Bunston and Starfy were running around with Papes trying to catch all the cats, Herman and Herbert were arguing over whose imaginary football team scores were highest, Bawss was yelling at the Squirts offscreen, Puplion was trying to run among the cats while ranting something about penguins, the Jellato sisters were hanging from the lights, the Bilge Monkeys were beating each other over the heads about which location they had agreed to search first, Piplion and Old Man Lobber were having tea under the cover of a random table in the corner, a Bunneran Soldier was trying to get some fish out of the freezer, and to top it all off, the Hot Spring Snapper had found them all (not too hard) and was attempting to beat down the walls.

"QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" 

Everybody froze for one complete second. Then the chaos resumed, sadly for Moe, who whipped out a piece of paper to busy himself with.

"My contract doesn't cover this kind of stuff…time for a few changes…"

* * *

And Finally…

10. Starly

"Hey! Clammy!"

The voice from behind the trio of Moe, Bunston, and Starfy was all too familiar.

"Yes, Starly?"

Starly glared at her brother.

"I asked your buddy, not you."

Starfy and Bunston glanced at Moe in pity before pushing him toward Starly. Moe sighed.

"Yes, Starly?"

"You still got that star rock on you?"

Moe pulled it out and held it up for Starly to see.

"Good. Now, are you all good? Got supplies? Fully protected? I don't need to be you _guys'_ bodyguard, now do I? Oh, and how did you like the dumplings? Did you—"

"We're okay, we have food and camping supplies, we're uninjured, no you don't need to be our bodyguard, and the dumplings were such a cheap trick, even for you, and so on."

The pink starfish glared at the clam.

"You sure know how to talk to a lady, eh, Clammy? Well, whatever. I'll be back to check on y'all tomorrow. Be good, bro! Bye Bunston!"

"That Starly…I have a name, you know!"

Starly reappeared in front of the three.

"I HEARD THAT!"

* * *

End Notes: Yay for me, I finally got this finished! Now give me a review if you read this…please?

And yes, I know that there are no treasure chests in the Bunston segments, but just pretend that there are since Nintendo's making poor Bunston trek through all the levels already.


End file.
